Hello friends.
I'm not actually sure what to call this. I'm in a down mood today and not sure of much of anything.
Ever get the feeling that something broken can't be mended? Your favorite pair of pants...a torn piece of paper from an essay for school....a friendship....friendshipS? That's where I'm at right now.
It started a little over a year ago when I found this MLM an aquintance had joined...seemed like a great opportunity. So I don't get too long winded, it actually is a great opportunity(if you'd like to know what it is, comment below and I'll message you), the team is amazing...we're like friends. Unfortunately, the problem is, when I throw myself into something....its like tunnel vision. And something REALLY important people in my life fell to the wayside...inadvertantly. Now that I've figured out this type of business is not for me....I really feel the difference.
I feel alone.
I've managed to make some friends here, which I never thought I could do. But it's not the same. A few I'm close to, but not like these girls. These girls are like my sisters(of which I have no real ones)...I don't know....like I said I don't know how to feel right now.
It feels like when you all go off to college and though you kinda sorta keep in touch, you don't really. Yet somehow it feel like more. And one....I've really REALLY let down and I feel 50 kinds of terrible about it. She's a tough egg to crack to...with good reason of course. And I can't imagine how it must of felt for her to feel like i was ignoring her when she was going through some tough decisions and life changes....probably the way I feel now. I don't blame her one bit for shutting me out. We all would do the same.
I've been asking myself a lot why god wanted me to go down this path. I thought I knew why...but I guess we never really do.
This is one of those things that takes time unfortunately. You can't just run to the store, buy some needle and thread and put it back together. Tape the paper back together again. You just have to prove yourself again.....I have to prove myself again.
I just don't know what I'll do if we don't find our way back.
I'm not actually sure what to call this. I'm in a down mood today and not sure of much of anything.
Ever get the feeling that something broken can't be mended? Your favorite pair of pants...a torn piece of paper from an essay for school....a friendship....friendshipS? That's where I'm at right now.
It started a little over a year ago when I found this MLM an aquintance had joined...seemed like a great opportunity. So I don't get too long winded, it actually is a great opportunity(if you'd like to know what it is, comment below and I'll message you), the team is amazing...we're like friends. Unfortunately, the problem is, when I throw myself into something....its like tunnel vision. And something REALLY important people in my life fell to the wayside...inadvertantly. Now that I've figured out this type of business is not for me....I really feel the difference.
I feel alone.
I've managed to make some friends here, which I never thought I could do. But it's not the same. A few I'm close to, but not like these girls. These girls are like my sisters(of which I have no real ones)...I don't know....like I said I don't know how to feel right now.
It feels like when you all go off to college and though you kinda sorta keep in touch, you don't really. Yet somehow it feel like more. And one....I've really REALLY let down and I feel 50 kinds of terrible about it. She's a tough egg to crack to...with good reason of course. And I can't imagine how it must of felt for her to feel like i was ignoring her when she was going through some tough decisions and life changes....probably the way I feel now. I don't blame her one bit for shutting me out. We all would do the same.
I've been asking myself a lot why god wanted me to go down this path. I thought I knew why...but I guess we never really do.
This is one of those things that takes time unfortunately. You can't just run to the store, buy some needle and thread and put it back together. Tape the paper back together again. You just have to prove yourself again.....I have to prove myself again.
I just don't know what I'll do if we don't find our way back.